Flatter to deceive

George Orwell famously described political language as being “designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind”. But it’s a description that just as easily applies to advertising and marketing too.

Having recently completed a yoga course, I decided it was time to invest in the one piece of equipment required: a yoga mat. So, at first, all I needed was a mat. Nothing fancy, just a cheap, simple, basic mat to stop my knees from hurting when I kneeled on the floor. But then I found eco-mats. Did this mean other mats were ecologically unsound? In which case an ecologically sound mat was the only possible choice. That meant ‘cheap’ went out of the window. Now I was splashing out, I wanted the best possible mat for my money. No messing around, I thought, I want a mat for life., that would be the most ecologically sound choice. And if I’m going to have this mat as a long term mat I need the perfect mat, one that accords with my lifestyle choices and aesthetic sensibilities, a mat that expresses my identity (both actual and aspirational). I found that mat in the prAna Revolution. Look at the yogic surfers in the video, all chilled out, at peace with themselves and the universe whilst being surfy and cool. It convinced me; what I needed was an extra large, luxury, top-end mat, that was the only way for me to progress from numpty beginner to yogic master. I mean, how could I even hope to master my postures on a standard skinny width PVC mat with the possibility of my fingers touching the floor. I had to have it.

As I was working out how to get hold of this tangible representation of yogic mastery, my wallet, and self respect, was saved by three things. Firstly, a perfectly timed piece by Nirpal Dhaliwal, secondly a realisation that I had spent more time looking for a mat than actually practicing my yoga, and three this smug video.

Like lots of people I thought I was well versed in anti-consumerist ideology but watching this vid made me realise how easily I was being sucked into the game just the same. Watch how two advertisers (who look like rejects from Heartbreak High) demonstrate how to rip off people on e-bay and use their creative skills for evil. Like Flav said.. don’t believe it, boyeee.

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